Now my response may not be what he expected and may not even have made sense, but I instantly knew he was telling me the exact same thing I wrote over 1 year ago; he reminded me of my own blog that I never published. I’ll let you read it below!
Good Things Come to those who Wait!
But experience has turned me into a believer, that true success lies in that little “wait” within this ancient statement; the ability to strike a balance between knowing your part and doing it to your level best, and having the faith and patience to let things to fall in place (or even out of place) at their own opportune time.
Allow me to break this down; there are few people who have figured out the balance in this piece of ancient wisdom given to us in the most subtle of statements “wait for good things to come your way” and are reaping the benefits thereof! And then there is the rest of us who are operating out of balance; a majority whose only limit is the very sky, which we now know has no limit (congratulations Nasa for shattering our innocence).
We are either on the side of the spectrum where we don’t fully do our part in seeking success, or the other side of the spectrum where even though we do what we need to do to achieve success, we don’t know the point at which we should let go and wait for things to fall in (or out) place.
There is success as we know it, and then there is “good things” type of success which sometimes may not even pass as success! Consider this…
Have you heard of very “successful” people committing suicide? I bet you also know women and men who became successful at the expense of their health or family! They either died prematurely, or became too lonely, miserable or criminals! I’m not exaggerating here; think about the “me too” campaign that exposed iconic “successful” people in actual criminal acts!
Do you really want me to mention that we too are notorious for trading in our honor or dignity for success. Huh! You don’t think we too belong in this category? Remind you I the lies we tell to get our necks past the hurdles to our goal! Oh or the fact that we step on people’s vulnerabilities to get ahead! We are the same people who applaud savage behavior if it brings us success. In fact millenials (still us) see the word savage as a cool thing! Now that we are all guilty, lets pray! No, really! Let’s rethink what we have come to believe is success!
- Think less of self! Think less of yourself and your goals and more about contributing to the success of others. My mother once told me “Mwende, always seek to help people”! One wonders why she’d thought to give me that advice when I am over here thinking I’m so cool. I have come to learn from my own actions that whenever I pursue something with a personal agenda in mind I end up using people, and many times, unfairly, which in the end isn’t worth the achievement. The times I have set out to focus on helping other people solve their problem or achieve their goals, I gain their trust, loyalty and friendship! That’s loaded success!
- Accept help/ ask for help! They say if you want to go fast go alone, but if you want to go far go with people. This one might be hard for many of us to do because it is about acknowledging we are insufficient and dependent! But it’s actually not as a bad thing as we’ve been made to believe by Mr. and Ms. independent! Being insufficient and dependent is the foundation for community, and community breeds belonging which is a real source of happiness! Belonging, my friends, is success!
- Uphold integrity; you won’t need to worry about preaching what you practice if you focus on practicing what you preach! (quote borrowed from someone who’s name I don’t have anymore). Upholding integrity means doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
- Be ready! Someone said “luck is when opportunity meets preparedness”! Now, if you recall the quote “good things come to those who wait”, this is surely where the wait must come in; we wait in readiness. It means we have done everything we possibly could to prepare, and must now have faith, I repeat, we must have faith that the opportunity will strike. The problem happens when we don’t stop at the point of waiting, but instead go further to manipulate the direction of the opportunity in our favor! This is what we call “making things happen”! It sounds great, it sounds proactive, and actually I’m guilty of being a go getter; 100% queen of catching the opportunities by the horns and redirecting them my way! Who can blame me when that’s what success gurus teach us! We even have names for ourselves to help applaud our zeal for “success”; we are the “boss lady”, “slay queen”, the “macho man”, “the top guy” name it! Alright, I just came up with that last two names for the sake of gender equality!
- Cease your opportunity (or good thing)! Okay, I’m about to sound like imo contradict myself here but please note the game-changer word “your” on this fifth point! This isn’t about competition. No! Really. This is about taming our greed! Ever heard of the saying “What belongs to you will never reject you”? You probably never heard of it before because my friend coined it, and if you have, well then, I still think my friend is super wise and is the type of people who coin such wise sayings! Greed comes from a mentality (or reality) of scarcity; the thinking there isn't enough for everyone! What if we only ceased not the opportunities but our own opportunities, wouldn’t everyone have their own turn?
- Give! Once you get your opportunity or “good thing”, overcome the temptation to keep it to yourself! Create more opportunities for others. There is the saying from the bible, “give and it will come back to you, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over”! We are talking abundance here! Abundance of opportunities or good things, more than we can contain! I can't make up stuff like this; it is a life principle! There is even a guidance as to the least you should give; 10% of what you make. It’s called tithe; it’s the bare minimum of how much you can give away! And it is not only monetary or material; that’s why “opportunity” is the word we are sticking with here! Give at least 10% of your time, skills, resources, knowledge, wisdom, space, and of course money e.t.c.! And if we are to go by the late Dr. Myles Monroe’s teaching, aim to die empty, having poured yourself out empty to the people around. Let them use you, even steal from you if they have to, it will help them and you have more where that came from anyway!
- Last but not least, and in no particular order, Give thanks! Cultivate a habit of gratitude. Another wise saying which I can’t tell who coined it says “gratitude makes what we have enough”! I can’t agree more. I have ever found myself in the thick of things so much that I was literally giving myself as a terrible example to encourage people who thought they had reached their end; that if I was living such a tough reality and still could find something to be grateful about, how much more them who already had what I was praying for! We must be grateful for the good things we have; the opportunities and privileges we have. We do not need to see someone in a worse situation than we are to be reminded of what we should be grateful for, but sometimes it helps to see such to be grateful! Starting today, before retiring to sleep, how about you make a habit of naming 10 things your are grateful for. Just that! Then see what a beautiful world it is you have been missing focusing on the wrong things!
I will wait with selflessness, in a community of loved ones, with integrity, in readiness and faith, from an abundant reality/mentality, with generosity, and with a heart full of gratitude! I have time! I am waiting! And I hope you too! And may good things come our way! Amen!