I could be wrong since I have not yet towed the marriage line yet I have burst the societal limit and went right into my 30s single and wiser, so I whatsapp Angie my best friend, who just got married again at 32. I give her a quick background to my question. (W/app, what a blessing)
"...girl, you've been married in your 20's and you've been single in your 30s and now you just got married. I don't think there is any better person to shed some light on the topic running through my head right now - marital statuses, age, and being in God's perfect timing.!
I'm still waiting to know what time I leave for the airport, and I see National Geo is now on rodents. That's a much better thing to watch. Apparently, there's this rat that made its way across the Indian ocean to the island yonder, found a female rat and now the once rodent-free island is inhabited by millions of rats. You wonder how the male rat made it across!
The headset next to my thoughts-full head rings, and my pick up is in 28 minutes. I quickly finish dressing up. I am looking at my phone hoping Angie responds before I can leave the room and the free WIFI for the next 9 hours in-flight. She doesn't disappoint; just before I can start wearing mascara on the other eye, her replies flood my phone. "ah a a, Rosey, finish with that mascara before you forget and get out with a half done face" says Tyra Bank's voice in my head.
"Wow Mwende, I commend you for your train of thought in letting the Lord do it as opposed to us making our own decisions on marriage. I could contribute one or two things I have learnt, which I found quite instrumental in preparing me afresh for marriage.
The other day I had a talk with a 33 year old agitated Christian girl who wanted to really get married. I asked her about her level of readiness and she affirmed that she had been ready since she was 25...! The problem we have today is that we have very few mentors who can mentor people in God's ways concerning marriage. That is, having the older women instructing the younger ones on family issues. Further, even the few available mentors are not quite listened to. Check out Titus 2:3-5.
Giving God an ultimatum is an almost sure way of setting oneself up for disappointment... Your 28 year old friend needs to be busy preparing herself as a bride. This preparation is usually so involving that time flies by. Some preparation pointers for a Christian bride are as follows:
- How deep is ones personal devotion and communication with the Lord? He is the one who will instruct, so we better stay very close as always so as to hear instructions clearly.
- How is the lady treating people around her? How is she treating her family members, neighbors, colleagues, brethren, and friends in General? It is a direct indicator on how she will treat her husband. God tested me on this in 2011 by allowing one of my sisters to come and stay with me. Girl, I confess that I was not too kind to her. After 3 months, she looked for a place of her own. The spirit of God spoke to me, showing me how unready I was to live with someone else. Girl, I repented and asked for another chance. Last year, another of my sisters checked into my house in January for attachment in a nearby university. She stayed till end of April and I stayed on my knees in prayer for my own sake since I did not want to fail again. We lived very well together, where I practically learned to care for another human being; being forgiving, being kind etc. After this, Moses, my husband now, checked into my life in September of the same year.
- How involved is one in their area of gifting or ministry, or are they just sitting on it. Do you realize that Rebekka was found by Isaac's servants fetching water? Rachel was spotted by Jacob when she was going to water her father's sheep. How about Ruth? She was busy collecting the corn ears that had been watered by the harvesters, when Boaz, Christ's great grandfather, noticed her.
Sometime back you shared with me a concern about girls in church who were getting married and it seemed like the ones with loose morals were the ones getting husbands. This is a deceptive spirit to derail those who truly walk with God, because in as much as the morally loose ones seemed to be wedding in droves, it would make more sense to follow them up after one year and find out what's going on in those marriages. I can almost bet they can not bare the sight of one another.
Marriage remains God idea and domain. We only get it right through him and his instructions. So much for my mourning and rumbling!!! We girls need to love God and please Him. He will take us to the men who have His heart. I confess to you Mwende, I have such a man in my house for a husband.
I remain standing in the room leg-rooted for a minute, and then pull my suitcase and strolley bag, and quietly walk to the airport van, thinking about the w/app I just read from Angela Tsuma.
In the van, we learn that the reason we couldn't take off 5 hours ago as scheduled was because the aircraft had run out of oxygen bottles, a safety equipment that we couldn't take off without. I smile as I see how related this delay was to what I was busy pondering on while waiting for my new pick up. The "delay" may exist to prepare us for a safe take off. Timing is in God's hands.